How to Say No to a Double Date: A Comprehensive Guide

Gaining popularity in recent years, double dates provide an opportunity to enjoy an outing with another couple, often friends or acquaintances. While these social engagements can be enjoyable for some, not everyone may feel inclined to participate in double dates. Whether due to personal preferences, prior commitments, or simply needing some quality alone time, it is essential to learn how to gracefully decline such invitations. In this guide, we will walk you through both formal and informal ways to say no to a double date, providing useful tips and examples along the way.

Formal Ways to Say No to a Double Date

When declining a double date formally, it’s crucial to maintain a polite and respectful tone. Here are some phrases you can use:

1. Express Gratitude and Apologize

Example: Thank you so much for thinking of us for a double date! We really appreciate the invitation. However, we already have plans for that evening. We apologize for any inconvenience caused.

2. Offer an Alternative Plan

Example: We are grateful for the invitation to a double date, but unfortunately, we have a prior commitment on that day. However, we would love to get together for dinner next week. It would be lovely to spend some quality time then.

3. Be Honest and Direct

Example: While we genuinely appreciate your kind invitation for a double date, we prefer to spend our Saturday evenings just the two of us. We value our alone time and find it helps us strengthen our bond as a couple.

Informal Ways to Say No to a Double Date

When you have a closer relationship with the inviting couple, an informal tone might be more suitable for declining a double date. Below are some phrases you can use in a casual setting:

1. Provide an Excuse

Example: Hey, thanks for suggesting a double date! Unfortunately, we won’t be able to make it this time. We already made plans for that night to catch up on our favorite TV series. Let’s plan something else soon.

2. Acknowledge Scheduling Conflicts

Example: Oh, that’s so sweet of you to invite us on a double date! Unfortunately, our calendar is bursting at the seams this month, and we won’t be able to find a free slot. We’ll definitely reach out when we have some downtime.

3. Express Need for Alone Time

Example: Thanks for considering us for a double date! We’re really grateful, but to be honest, we’ve been craving some quality time on our own lately. Just the two of us. Hope you understand!

Additional Tips for Declining a Double Date

While the above phrases serve as excellent starting points, it is always helpful to consider these additional tips when saying no to a double date:

1. Be Appreciative

Express gratitude for the invitation and the consideration put into organizing the double date. It shows respect and helps maintain a warm relationship.

2. Provide Alternatives

If you genuinely value the company of the inviting couple, offer alternatives to a double date. Suggest meeting up for coffee, engaging in a group activity, or planning a future outing that suits everyone’s schedules.

3. Honesty is Key

While providing a polite refusal, remember to maintain honesty. Authenticity strengthens the bond between friends and allows for open communication.

Remember, it’s perfectly okay to prioritize your personal well-being and preferences.

4. Avoid Misleading Excuses

Refrain from making up false excuses to decline a double date. It’s better to be honest and sincere, rather than resorting to dishonest tactics that may strain the relationship.

5. Show Appreciation for Their Understanding

Express gratitude for your friends’ understanding and flexibility. Let them know you value their friendship and hope to spend quality time together in the future.


As social beings, navigating invitations can sometimes be challenging. However, declining a double date should never cause undue stress. By incorporating the phrases and tips outlined in this guide into your communication, you can gracefully say no while maintaining the warmth and respect necessary for strong relationships. Remember, the most vital aspect is honesty and appreciation for the inviting couple and the effort they put into planning the double date. Wishing you happy and fulfilling social interactions!

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