Ways to say it
| Chinese | Romanization (Wiktionary) | Note |
|---|---|---|
| 相好的 | xiānghǎo de | colloquial |
| 情婦 / 情妇 | qíngfù | |
| 姦婦 / 奸妇 | jiānfù | |
| 姘婦 / 姘妇 | pīnfù | |
| 姘頭 / 姘头 | pīntou | |
| 相好 | xiānghǎo |
The terms used for a woman in an extramarital relationship vary significantly in tone. While 情妇 describes a woman involved in an affair, other terms like 小三 (literally 'little three') are used as slang for the same role. In historical contexts or period dramas, the term 小妾 is used to refer to a concubine. A more derogatory term is 二奶, which literally means 'second milk' and is used to refer to a mistress or a concubine in a demeaning way.
Which one should you use?
The choice of word depends on your intent. 相好的 is a colloquial and somewhat euphemistic or neutral way to describe a long-term lover or paramour. In contrast, 情妇 is more formal and explicitly denotes a mistress in a social or legal sense. If you wish to be highly derogatory and condemn a woman's sexual morality, you might use 奸妇, which is much more aggressive than the descriptive 情妇.
Is there a formal and an informal way to say it?
相好的 is used in casual, spoken Chinese to refer to someone one is seeing secretly or outside of marriage. 情妇 is a more formal term, though it still carries a negative connotation. 小三 is specifically identified as slang.
How do you pronounce it?
xiānghǎo de
Did you know?
- While 'mistress' in English can imply a position of authority, the Chinese term 情妇 (qíng fù) focuses strictly on 'passion' (情) and 'woman' (妇). It describes the emotional and sexual nature of the bond rather than social power.
- In ancient China, the legal distinction between a 妻 'wife' and a 妾 'concubine' meant that a 'mistress' in the modern sense was sometimes a legally recognized secondary spouse.
- The highly aggressive term 奸妇 (jiān fù) uses the character 奸 (jiān), which is also found in the word for 'treachery' or 'treason'. This links the woman's infidelity directly to a moral betrayal of the state or family.
Examples in context
- 在中国的社会中，二奶和情妇的存在令婚姻关系变得复杂。In Chinese society, the existence of mistresses and lovers makes marital relationships complicated.
- 他其实有个相好的。Tā qíshí yǒu gè xiānggǎode.He actually has a mistress.
Example conversation
Two friends are gossiping about a mutual acquaintance.
- 梓涵 Zihan你听说了吗？他居然有个相好的。Nǐ tīngshuōle ma? Tā jūrán yǒu gè xiānghǎo de.Did you hear? He actually has a mistress.
- 浩然 Haoran真的吗？他看起来很爱他的妻子。Zhēnde ma? Tā kànqǐlái hěn ài tā de qīzi.Really? He seems to love his wife very much.
- 梓涵 Zihan谁知道呢，现在的事情太奇怪了。Shéi zhīdào ne, xiànzài de shìqíng tài qíguài le.Who knows, things are too strange these days.
- 浩然 Haoran我真的不敢相信这件事。Wǒ zhēnde bù gǎn xiāngxìn zhè jiàn shì.I really can't believe this.
Sources
- Wiktionary, “mistress” translations, CC BY-SA 4.0, dump of 2026-09-26.
